~Fasten Your Seatbelts~

Well, I have talked about it long enough! The time has come for me to start a blog. I have enjoyed following my friends blogs for quite some time so I thought it would only be appropriate for me to join in the movement! So, as the title says, Fasten Your Seatbelts kids.. I have a ton of catching up to do..

Chris and I met in January of 2006. We were engaged on March 26th, 2007 and were married on February 16th, 2008 at Germantown Baptist Church. Almost immediately after we got married, we decided we wanted to start a family! Easier said than done.. well.. that is what we found out anyway! I always had a hunch that I would have a hard time getting preggers( call it premonition) I had a cervical cancer scare the year that we were getting married.. this threw a wrench in some plans. I was a patient at West Clinic for almost a year. Their conclusion, there was no conclusion.. God worked his miracle and every trace of what the doctors thought could be cancer disappeared! That was my hunch.. then the obvious.. I don't have the best cycles in the world! TMI, I know but it is true! I have a great relationship with by gyno, Dr. Greenwell! It seems like I have seen him more in the last few years than I have my general practitioner. He did test after test after test.. Chris and I were on a strict schedule and had enough ovulation tests and pregnancy tests to build a dollhouse. Needless to say, they didn't do the trick. After a year of testing and trying, the time came that Dr Greenwell threw in the towel and said we should make the decision to see a specialist!

Chris and I talked about it, it is a BIG decision! Neither of our health insurance plans offer fertility assistance( that strikes a whole new cord with me) We went to meet with Dr. Ke and fell in love with him. He has an amazing bed side manner! He started me on some new medication and told me to relax! Really... That word is not in my vocabulary!!! I tried my best but we weren't getting anywhere.. well.. i take that back! We did make some progress.. we found out that it was definitely me, not Chris that was causing the problem! Deep down, I was jealous that he was sort of off the hook.. it was a little pitty party too! Like I said, I always had a hunch! We moved through the process, we had blood work drawn, tests run, ultrasound after ultrasound and then the big bomb dropped.. we would need to have artificial assistance because nothing was working.. We were gung-ho at this point in the game! We didn't even blink before we scheduled our first IUI.. I can't spell it, if you are curious.. google it! I was pumped.. I thought.. FINALLY!! something that will work! Not so much :( After the first 2 failed, I knew something had to give. Not only did I have a complete melt down at my sister and brother-in-law's but I knew my husband and family couldn't take anymore of my crazyness! We decided to do some exploratory surgery to see what was going on in there! Boy am I glad we did.. Dr. Ke determined that I had Stage 3 Endometriosis! No wonder nothing was working, no wonder I was in pain, no wonder I was a crazy hormonal woman!! Well maybe the last part is a bit of a stretch in blaming it on the endo! Dr Ke said it would do the trick.. so he thought.. I would need to recover and then we would do another IUI.. He was sooo hopeful! Well, after recovery was over and the IUI was performed.. we again were faced with another negative pregnancy test! Seriously.. I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown! From that point on, I was anti-baby!!

After the pregnancy fiasco.. My family was put through the ringer! My mom was sick( like sinus infection sick) This was in August of 2010.. she seemed to stay sick during that time.. she was weak, tired, cranky, emotional, for those of you who know my mother, it was bizarre to see her this way! we forced her to go to the emergency room one afternoon when she could literally barely walk into their office. Dad took her to the ER and that afternoon has changed our lives forever. She deteriorated rapidly, the dr's were frantic trying to find out why she was so sick. Her heart rate was through the roof but it was barely functioning. Bizarre and puzzling! Dr. Debsidkar pulled dad and I out into the hallway and gave us the what for! Mom was in congestive heart failure! WHAT?? She was young, healthy, vibrant, this could not be happening.. well, I went home to pack a bag because I was going to camp out with her in the ICU. Not as soon as I got home, dad called and told me that she had stopped breathing! Not once but twice she received CPR in the ER at Baptist Collierville! They got her stable, thank God and life flighted her to Baptist Memphis CV-ICU.. she was on full blown life support! I thought my life was over.. I could not bury my best friend! No Way and No How was I going to let that happen! Our friends and family rallied and prayed for her life! God wasn't finished with her yet! She was on life support for 4 days and in the hospital for 13 total! She is now a walking miracle! You would never know by looking at her that she literally died and came back! I am a firm believer that God placed Dr. D and our nurse Wanda in our lives to save mom's! Amazing!!!

Well August didn't totally stink! We were blessed beyond believe on August 11, 2010.. our niece Tatelyn Campbell Collins was welcomed into the world! What a true blessing and breath of life that I needed so desperately! She has been an absolute joy to be around! I love her and my in-love's like they have been in my family for 30 years! I cannot say blessed enough! I am absolutely the luckiest girl in the world!

Moving forward.. At this point in life.. I am a bit confused and just numb! My dad was offered a position in Colorado.. seriously.. that is like 13 states away.. how could they possibly leave me?? I am being sooo selfish but happy at the same time! They have always wanted to live there.. I didn't know it would be so soon but all good things must come to an end. My brother in love Carey is putting the house on the market this week! I pray that it sells quickly because I hate seeing my mom miss my dad everyday! It kills me. This too shall pass! My sad heart will be happy again! I am just a daddy's girl and I still can't imagine not being able to pull up in our driveway at any moment and find them chilling in the back yard admiring their hard work! This time next year, we will just have to hop on a plane and fly for a bit to see them enjoying their yard the same way as they do here! Thank God I work at FedEx( we can fly cheap)

That brings me to today! Chris and I have just started to discuss fertility again. I am printing off grant applications to see if we will be able to get some financial assistance. It costs a fortune to have IVF.. more than $10K to be exact... really there is nothing exact or guaranteed with fertility.. it is a cat and mouse game that seems to haunt me daily!

I plan to use this blog to journal our life... like I said, there will be good, bad, ugly, and awesome.. because.. that is life! I hope you decide to tune in every once in a while! I can guarantee you, it won't be boring!!